Jane Austen’s Love Mystery: Conclusion

Some people say that Jane Austen’s genius in creating the perfect romance is thanks to her own romantic experiences. That she experienced great love, enabled her to create such powerful romances as Pride and Prejudice and Persuasion.

However, Jane herself made it quite plain that, in her writing, she did not copy individuals from her own experience but created her characters from imagination. According to her nephew James Edward, her family members never recognised any individuals in her characters. Jane declared that “I am too proud of my gentlemen to admit that they were only Mr A. or Colonel B.” Perhaps she never met a great love and that is why she made them up?

As her niece Catherine wrote, “her books were her children”. Jane was aware that, after marriage, her life would be a stretch of continuous pregnancy and child-bearing, and having seen her sisters-in-law suffer from bad health and even die of childbirth, she was probably not attracted to the idea of motherhood. She certainly enjoyed flirting, as we hear from various sources, but she was aware that the only way she could continue her writing career was to remain single.

At that day and age, remaining single can’t have been an easy choice to make – Jane’s acceptance and immediate rejection of Harris Bigg-Wither is proof of that. With financial insecurity in the horizon, the life of a spinster was hardly a lucrative prospect for any lady. But our Jane seems to have had an early feminist streak in her; she was proud of her “children” and the fact that she could make money through writing; she loved her freedom.

Had she met a great love and had marriage worked out for her, things might have been different. However, according to her niece Caroline, romances never caused her great sorrow. And - unless Jane was an extremely private person - we can assume that those who knew her well – her family members – would be the best people to rely on for any judgment on her feelings or character.

 

References:

'Austen-Leigh, J. E. (2002) A Memoir of Jane Austen and Other Family Recollections. Oxford World Classics.

De La Faye, D./Austen-Leigh, W. (2004) Jane Austen - A Family record. CUP.

De La Faye, D. (1995) Jane Austen’s Letters. OUP.

Norman, A. (2009) Jane Austen: An Unrequited Love. History Pr Ltd.

Spence, J. (2003) Becoming Jane Austen. Hambledon and London.

Tomalin, C. (1997) Jane Austen – A Life. Viking.

Jane Austen’s Love Mystery: Part 4

4. Edward Bridges

To this day, mystery surrounds Jane’s relationship with Edward Bridges. You may have seen him as one of Jane’s persistent suitors in Miss Austen Regrets, but in actual fact there is very little that we know about the nature of their relationship.

Mr Bridges played by Hugh Bonneville in Miss Austen Regrets.

Image from http://bit.ly/mOP2c5.

The Reverend Brook Edward Bridges of Goodnestone Farm was Jane’s brother, Edward’s brother-in-law. Son of a baronet, he became a clergyman like his other brothers. Jane became familiar with Edward during her visits to Godmersham in the mid-1790’s and seemed to enjoy his company.

During a visit in 1805, Jane noticed that Edward was being particularly attentive to her. She wrote to Cassandra, "We could not begin dinner till six. We were agreeably surprised by Edward Bridges's company to it. . . . It is impossible to do justice to the hospitality of his attentions towards me; he made a point of ordering toasted cheese for supper entirely on my account". As I wrote before, toasted cheese was a favourite supper of Jane Austen’s.

A few years later, in 1808, Jane wrote to Cassandra from Godmersham, “[Lady Bridges’] son Edward was also looking very well, & with manners as un-altered as hers". In another letter written later that year, Jane mentioned an “invitation” that Edward had made to her: “I wish you may be able to accept Lady Bridges's invitation, though I could not her son Edward's”.

Now whatever this invitation may be, remains a mystery to us. Biographers Deirdre La Faye and the flighty Jon Spence certainly seem convinced that Edward proposed to Jane in 1808 and was politely rejected. If his proposal was indeed turned down, there seems to have been no hard feelings on either side, as the friendship continued after that. When Edward became engaged to Harriet Foote later in the same year, she wished him well.

Jane Austen’s Love Mystery: Part 3

3. Harris Bigg-Wither

The story of Harris Bigg-Wither’s proposal to Jane must have baffled her biographers for years. What made Jane Austen accept an offer of marriage and then turn it down overnight?

Harris Bigg-Wither. Image from Wikipedia.

In December 1802, Jane and Cassandra were invited to stay with their friends, the Bigg sisters, at Manydown Park. Alethea and Catherine Bigg were childhood friends of the Austen children and Jane and Cassandra enjoyed staying with them. Their brother, Harris Bigg-Wither, was heir to the Manydown estate, and Jane remembered him from her childhood as being a plain and awkward boy with a stammer. He had by now grown somewhat more confident and was of a good height.

On the eve of 2 December, Harris proposed to Jane and was accepted. She was fond of him, liked the family, and was comfortable at Manydown, being so close to Steventon. Everyone rejoiced and celebrated the engagement that evening. However, Jane must have spent the night going over her decision, considering the fact that Harris was 6 years younger than her, she was not attracted to him, and that she could not be happy being married to someone she didn’t love. She explained her change of heart to Harris in the morning, and asked her brother James to take her and Cassandra back to Steventon immediately and from there on home to Bath.

The situation must have been awkward for both the families, but fortunately the Austen and the Bigg sisters’ friendship was not affected by it. Later, though, Caroline Austen asked Jane’s biographer, James Edward Austen-Leigh, not to mention the event in his memoirs, as it would have caused embarrassment to the family.

No doubt, Jane must have occasionally regretted her decision. As mistress of a large estate, her future would have been secured, she would have been able to help her ageing parents and sister, and she would have lead a life of comfort. However, for Jane, marrying without love was not an option. As she advised her niece Fanny later on, “Anything is to be preferred or endured rather than marrying without Affection.” And she certainly did not love Harris Bigg-Wither, as her niece Caroline remembered in her old age.

Jane Austen’s Love Mystery: Part 2

2. Dr Samuel Blackall

Image: An unknown young scholar.

There are several references to Dr Samuel Blackall in Austen’s biographies. Dr Blackall was a theology student and fellow of Emmanuel College in Cambridge. Jane and Dr Blackall met in 1798 when he was staying with his family friends, the Lefroys. Despite the Tom Lefroy affair, Jane had remained friends with Mrs Lefroy and was a frequent visitor to Ashe.

At the time, Dr Blackall was believed to be “in want of a wife”, as he was about to give up his fellowship and settle down at a parish. Perhaps Mrs Lefroy thought that Dr Blackall would be a good match for Jane. However, despite several matchmaking efforts, it appears that neither party warmed up to the idea. Mrs Lefroy later showed her a letter from Dr Blackall, of which Jane wrote, “There seems no likelihood of his coming into Hampshire this Christmas, and it is therefore most probable that our indifference will soon be mutual, unless his regard, which appeared to spring from knowing nothing of me at first, is best supported by never seeing me.'

Despite the “mutual indifference” admitted by Jane herself, some people do believe that Dr Blackall was Jane’s one true love. Amongst these was her niece Catherine Hubback who wrote, “if she ever was in love, I believe it was with Dr Blackall whom they met at some watering place…there is no doubt she admired him extremely, and perhaps regretted parting”. We do know that she met someone at a watering place years later, but there is some confusion between the nieces and nephews as to the identity of this person. I will come back to the seaside mystery in Part 5.

Jane Austen’s Love Mystery: Part 1

1. Tom Lefroy

Biographer Jon Spence is convinced that Thomas Langlois Lefroy was Jane Austen’s one and true love and that she suffered for years following her loss. His book Becoming Jane Austen inspired the film, Becoming Jane, in which Jane’s relationship with Tom is portrayed as a full-blown romantic affair. Other biographers have also stressed the importance of the affair in Jane’s life.

Young Tom Lefroy. Image from Wikipedia Archives.

Jane and Tom met during the Christmas season of 1795, when Jane was 20 years old. He was visiting his aunt and uncle, George and Anne Lefroy, at Ashe Parsonage, on his way to London where he was to study law. Anne Lefroy was a close friend of Jane Austen’s and a neighbour to the Austen family. Jane and Tom met at 4 balls and danced together. Jane obviously liked him, describing him as “a very gentlemanlike, good-looking, pleasant young man”.

Jane told Cassandra, “imagine to yourself everything most profligate and shocking in the way of dancing and sitting down together”. Lively Jane must have flirted with Tom very openly, as Tom was “excessively laughed at about me at Ashe”, to the point that he once ran away when she visited Ashe!

Jane always describes Tom with light humour in her letters. Before a ball at Ashe, she wrote “I look forward with great impatience to it, as I rather expect to receive an offer from my friend… I shall turn it down, however, unless he promises to give away his white coat”. She also joked, “I mean to confine myself in the future to Mr Tom Lefroy… for whom I do not care a sixpence.”

The flirtation with Tom was not to last. Before their last ball together, Jane ironically wrote, “at length the day is come on which I am to flirt my last with Tom Lefroy & when you receive this it will be over. My tears flow, as I write, at the melancholy idea.” Tom was to proceed to London and the young couple never met again. It was Mrs Lefroy who sent him away, realising that the youngsters were about to form an attachment and neither of them had money to sustain a good living. He was certainly a practically-minded man, as on his return to Ireland, he married a rich heiress and moved on in life.

Tom Lefroy later became Chief Justice of Ireland and lived up to the old age of 93. In his last years his nephew asked him if he had loved Jane Austen, and he admitted that he had been in love with her, although it had been “a boyish love”.

The Chief Justice. Image from Wikipedia.

It is clear that there was a romance between the two, but how much this affected Jane Austen is unknown. According to Jane’s nephew James Edward Austen-Leigh and niece Caroline, the romance had been nothing out of the ordinary. Caroline wrote, “there was something in it, is true – but nothing out of the common way…nothing to call ill usage & no very serious sorrow endured” - a youthful, innocent flirtation, perhaps. There is no evidence to suggest that she had been deeply touched by this affair.

Jane Austen’s Love Mystery

- For a mystery it is, thanks to the lack of  biographical data from the bulk of her twenties and the discreteness with which Jane Austen handled her personal feelings in her letters.

I am sure that all fans of Jane Austen are intrigued to know if Jane Austen was ever in love, and why she never married. What inspired her to write 5 such influential novels about love and marriage?  No one knows for sure, but all her biographers seem to have their own ideas about Jane’s romantic leanings.

You must have seen the heavily dramatised, fictional film, Becoming Jane, based on Jon Spence’s biography, which portrays Jane Austen madly in love with Tom Lefroy in her early twenties, up to the point of nearly eloping with him. And the slightly more biographical, yet fictional Miss Austen Regrets, which assumes that later in life, Jane probably regretted having never married and secured a safe future for her and the ladies in her family.

Why did Jane Austen decide not to marry? Did she ever love a man enough to marry him, and lose him? Or was she simply not a romantic person at all?

In this series of articles I will now discuss some of Jane’s romantic connections and how they might have influenced the choices she made in life.

Before I begin, can you identify any of these 5 people thought to have been Jane’s lovers? And who – if any - do you think was Jane’s great love?

 

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